Friday, June 30, 2017

A Sad Day in May.

There is a lot of pain and suffering that follows an event like this.

For those of you reading who do not know of what this blog relates to, you can read so here.

I have lost people very close to me, but I cannot even come close to understanding what it feels like to lose a partner, or a child. And that is not what this post is about.

I felt compelled to write this, to help myself and others sort out emotions brought on by this event.

 Human function, is a mixture of chemical experiences that bring together our  conscious, sub-conscious, emotion, and what we perceive in the world around us.

This is why times of loss can be so confusing and complex. Direct family members have to battle mixed signals between reality, memory, familiarity and understanding.

Genuine love, the kind you have for family... The love that doesn't change with circumstance. Looking at some one every day learning who they are, being proud of them, and excited for them, experiencing and growing with them... this is the most sought out and valuable human experiences. So valuable that documented history shows time and time again,  that humans have sacrificed everything in search of it. People have changed who they are for it, died in honor of it, and even have killed for it and because of it.

So it is completely understandable that when it has been taken from someone, in an instant without warning, without repercussion and with no party to blame, a complexity of emotion will arise.

People directly affected will go through 'jumps' of emotion. They will experience sadness, anger, confusion, depression only seconds apart from each other. It is the inability to filter through this that will drive a person mad, and even to his or her own demise.

Now we as a community have the opportunity to step in.

Knowing Matt personally I am going to be a little more personal now.

The remaining family members of this tragedy are in need of genuine friendship,  and comradery.

Comradery by definition is a feeling of good friendship among people in a group, its synonyms being, brotherhood,  companionship, community and company.

They may feel as if the only people important in their life have been taken, and this may be true, but what they are unable to see right now is that they do have good, caring people in their life. Right now, though they may not want it, that is what they need. When the hustle and bustle  of funerals, mourning, sympathy cards, and flowers dissipates, they will still be alone, without those missing pieces of their life. Alone with thoughts and emotions to run free, and no reason in the world to suppress or address any of it.

They aren't going to want to talk, or blow off steam, or get wasted. It may feel like that is what they need at first, but in the end, they are going to want answers. Since you, I and no one else can give them this, the best thing we can give is our company.

 Sit with them, one on one, just hanging out. Be available constantly for them. There may be a moment where they will just cry, or yell,  be there for them in those moments. Listen to them stammer off incomprehensibly, and listen to them when it all actually makes sense. Cry with them, reminisce with them, laugh and yell with them. Be there when there are no words left to say, and just keep on standing by them.

Tragedy in life is completely unavoidable, that is part of being human. How we react to tragedy however is a big part of who we become.

Growning up just a block away from Matt, we may not have been BFF's, but we were friends, and from that I know that he is a good man, and honest, who works hard and has really made the most of life for himself. So I know that with his friends standing in for him, he can heal in time, not forget, but heal.

Our friends are standing in shambles at the feet of tragedy and despair. If you are in the position to reach out and assist, then do so. If not only to do the right thing, then do it in hopes that there will be a hand for you to reach out to someday, if you need it.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Utica; Let it Shine

In this area, it is not uncommon to hear something along the lines of "this town sucks" come out of someones mouth.

Although you can often hear it verbalized, it isn't actually the popular opinion.

So why don't you hear any defending statements?? Well that is because, the most of us who love this town we live in, are so busy enjoying it that we find no reason to address the adversary.

Instead of barking back negativity, I think there is enough going on to show this city can shine for itself.

This weekend I managed to fit two local events into my busy life schedule.

The first was the 3rd annual Redeemer Cup, which is a free event. I think this article does a great job of saying what it is all about.

Personally I thought the even was just amazing. It is full of people, culturally different in so many ways, coming together and just enjoying each other. Isn't that what community is all about?

You can find all of these pictures and more here and on Redeemers site.

Later in the evening I attended the opening game for the Utica Brewers, our baseball team. Tickets were only 4 dollars for adults.

It was cold, and a little wet, with a very small turn out. In spite of that, it was great to be sitting in the stadium supporting a local team, even if they did lose.

game play

Brewster the mascot

There is a ton do to if you just look around. All of it is fun and affordable, and representing our community.

As an added related note....

The Utica Boilermaker is coming up quickly, in case you haven't heard me mention it a bazillion times already. It has become the worlds largest and most competitive 15k race. The weekend of this event brings in thousands of people form all over the world. The entire community works together to facilitate the growth of tourism for the weekend, and the demand for entertainment during a 3 hour race, and even longer after party.

So if you are feeling "bored" in a few weeks, why don't you take a walk outside and see just how boring we can be.